Hello 2022 *

So cliche, the heading.

I feel like this year is quite important to take a resolution. With all the shit we’ve been through since the past 2 years, making a conscious effort to actually look forward to something, can probably make life easier.

I have taken a lot of resolutions before (of course) but it all never worked out. Now that I look at it, it is not about if you were able to keep them up or if you were able to succeed in your promise, it is about how you gave it a try because life is just a bunch of trials and errors. Then we all die.

This year I have decided to take resolution in a more mental way.

I have decided to be more assertive in my approach.

I have decided to take on more responsibilities and not run from them.

Last but not the least, I have decided to be happy and grateful.

I feel it only takes a perspective to change your life. It does take a lot of strength to do it too. So keep trying guys, it doesn’t matter if it works out or no, it’s all about the effort. It is all about how you gave it a shot. Do it. Do what you have wanted to do, even if you don’t succeed.

Have fun, enjoy and be yourself. That’s what this year should be about. Also, take care and don’t go out .

*Wrote it when I was high.**

** Jk, I don’t do drugs

Toxic work environment

Have you ever felt that your boss was being extremely appreciative of your work and that the more he appreciated the more you felt like working, regardless of the situation?

If yes, then let me tell you that what your boss is doing is the oldest trick in the book to make you work overtime without any compensation and without any actual admiration.

Words can be deceiving.*

Especially when appreciations are idle and don’t help you grow into an individual. Especially to a student who has absolutely no clue about what to expect at a workplace. Being a guide and a great mentor is what a student looks for.

Back to the point, you might be wondering as to how I, Krisha Doshi, know about such toxic environment? Answer: Experience. Just came out of a workplace which was not only toxic but also had no credibility. Turns out this pandemic made everyone quite desperate to cling onto whatever they could find.

The story of my experience there is for another time but for now I’m just willing to put out an advice.

Do not ever trust anyone easily. Take your time to make judgements. If the employer is not helping you out if you’re stuck somewhere, that’s a huge red flag because that environment is not going to help you grow.

Fight for what is right. If the person isn’t treating you well, speak up. Loudly.

Last but not the least, don’t do drugs.

*Especially if they are coming from a loser whose company literally does not exist anywhere on the internet because that person achieved nothing in his/her life because busy fighting with an intern who asked for her stipend.

Weep

You know what I feel right now? I feel like I have nothing. I am not special in any way, I’m the most average a person can ever be. I have no talents, I have nothing to look forward to.

I feel extremely insecure, I have the worst self-esteem issues and right now they are at their peak. Honestly, if you ask me anything about myself right now, I will probably breakdown and cry because I am completely embarrassed of who I am at the moment. I feel like I have accomplished nothing at that I cannot be better than the average human being. I still haven’t found an internship even after searching foe an entire month and it feels like the most unproductive time of my life.

I am going to curl up into a ball and cry thoughout the night. It’s nothing different though, I kind of do that every oter month but the last five to six months were not so terrible so it’s the first time this year. I feel like I am going to cry a who fucking river and I honestly can’t wait for that. I feel like shit and I am just going to let it all out. Get all th enegative thoughts along with all the frustration.

I wish you guys a good day and myself an amazing fucking crying session.

Chill

Sometimes I wonder if it is the right thing to add this blog as an achievement on my CV. It’s funny because I got a call the other day asking me of I could elaborate a bit more on what I write and the whole theme of it to which I replied “It’s timepass”.

Honestly, no shame. I should not have said that because the dude cut the call short and said that they’ll let me know if I was being selected for the internship.

Well, if I am being honest they are probably missing out on me if they are judging me by this blog. They have no clue of how creative and cool I am. I am hardworking, dedicated and cool as fuck. Ask my previous employers, they absolutely love me and want me to be a prt pf their team again after I graduate.

Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is that if anyone is judging you for your personal life and not your professional life, don’t listen to them or even work for them. Everyone has shit going on in their life and if they are not bringing it to their work, it’s no one’s business.

Also, recruiters, if you’re reading this, I’m damn funny and cool to be around, so give me a chance *tch* *tch*

Grief

Grief is such a big part of everyone’s lives. Grief is one of the biggest enablers of a lot of people’s actions because when you’re saddened by some event, your brain sends you into a deep self analysis ritual.

Death of a loved one is the worst of it all. It makes you re-think every possible decision you’ve ever made. Not only a loved one but also the death of an acquaintance or someone you just saw everyday, it still makes you brain go haywire.

I recently lost a childhood friend and I just couldn’t wrap my head around it. I didn’t know what to feel. We were friends during our childhood but then we lost a bit of contact and we didn’t really talk much. We never even spoke a word to each other in years but I used to see him almost everyday and all we did was wave at each other. It was kind of our ritual. An unspoken rule. Every night I would go out for a walk and I expected to see him sitting at the same bench everyday. We never even said ‘Hi’. We just nod at each other and acknowledge each other’s existence and that was it.

I wasn’t present in the city when he passed away. I had my other friends tell me about what and how it happened.

If I’m being honest, he never played any part in my life but it just feels weird to not nod or wave at someone every night while i go out for a walk. Since I was not even present for the funeral, I couldn’t even get a closure.

Human brain is so weird, like I was the least important person in his life too but somehow my thoughts were about what would have happened if i was there. If I could’ve done something to save him. Such a stupid thought to have, giving yourself so much significance when you internally know that if you were there, you would’ve peed your pants and cried your eyes out.

What I’m trying to say is, be nice to everyone. You won’t regret being nice to them when they die.

We will agree to disagree

It’s okay to not know something. It’s perfectly fine. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise.

We are all learning and we all talk our own time. It’s okay to not completely know about politics and it’s completely normal to sometimes not know the current affairs. There is nothing wrong with that. So do not by any means give out any half-ass knowledge about anything because that is definitely more dangerous. In Hindi, theres a phrase for it, “chalti gaadi meh matt chadh chutiye” which loosely translates to “shut the fuck up if you have no clue about the topic being discussed”

Putting out your opinion is different that putting out a fact. Not everyone has to agree with your opinion and that’s a fact. You are never going to be able to agree with everyone on anything so do not waste your precious time in doing the same.

You have got to live by only one mantra which is “we’ll agree to disagree”. We all have our opinions and not facts so please stop forcing down your opinions into everyone’s throats. Everyone’s brain is different but that doesn’t mean you should entertain dumbfucks. You’ll know a dumbfuck when you see one.

So don’t worry so much about everyone’s opinions because they are mere thoughts and not facts.

You shouldn’t do drugs and thats a fact.

Nervousness

If I’m being honest, I’m not just nervous but also extremely excited for this year. I feel that being positive is the only thing that can help someone overcome their hurdles because everything that develops outside in your life, first occurs in your brain.

If one starts being negative, then no matter how many great and amazing opportunities present themselves, the person is going to keep looking at the minute issues.

If we get back to being nervous, sometimes it’s great and sometimes it’s just completely unnecessary. If the person understands the difference between the two, that’s an achievement. Having butterflies in your stomach while starting something new is amazing to have because it shows that you care about what you’re doing and it also makes you work harder at the same but being anxious after everything is done and dusted and you’re just waiting for the outcome, is, in layman’s terms, plain stupid.

So please be more adventurous and stop overthinking about everything. It’s all going to work out and be fine. Just chill and get some chai.

Stop with the drugs.

Men.

There’s just too much happening in this world. Some of the things that I can’t even talk about without chills running down my spine.

These past couple of days have been extremely hard for me as a woman and sometimes I even wish I was a man. Life would have been much easier in every aspect. I would have been able to walk wherever I wanted without fearing for my life and modesty. I would have been able to wear whatever I wanted without been ogled at. I could have been able to even smoke a cigarette or grab a drink with my friends without being judged.

Imagine being able to do the most basic things in life without overthinking about it or being scared for your life.

The unfortunate fact is that almost all women have gone through some kind of sexual harrasment in their life. Be it verbal or physical. It has sadly been the reality of this world.

Women have to take self defence classes, cover themselves up, carry a pepper spray, update their live location to someone trustworthy and even call a friend to pick them up because the taxi driver seemed too sketchy. Woman take all these extra steps to just go on about their day to stay safe while the only way they can be safe is if men learn to keep it in their pants. All that the women are the asking from a man, the only basic requirement they need is for the men control themselves.

I’m not going to deny the fact that this is the consequence of the years old patriarchy established by men all around the world, but if I start talking about it, this article might not ever end.

I get that not all men are the same. I get it, but if the person reading this is a woman, can you, in all honesty, ever tell me that you’ve never felt unsafe walking down the street alone? If you are a man, can you , in all fairness, ever tell me that you haven’t felt scared for your mother, sister or a female friend when she’s about to go home alone after the dark?

My point, is that unfortunately it’s “All Men” for the female. Women are scared of all men. So yes, please listen to the women when they say that “Men are Trash”. They have been through hell and back.

Power

I have been quite obsessed with introspecting and understanding myself in order to be true to my inner soul. Finding and listening to your own self is more vital than just being influenced by someone’s opinion.*

During these tottering times, I’ve always been reading someone else’s thought. Be it political or lifestyle, it has always made me question my own decisions which in turn have turned me into doubting my own choices. Having a 60 year old person telling you about how accepting someone different is destructive to the society, doesn’t mean you should accept that thought because of their age.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with all the 60 year olds but the 2% of them are just really really ignorant. Personally, it’s extremely exciting to have a debate with them which can either be helpful to both or just an utter waste of time. That being said, it’s always good to know a different perspective but not be completely blind and follow it. It should be more to educate yourself and help in getting a better thought or a more detailed information about it.

“Change is the only constant in the world”. Change is inevitable. You have absolutely no control over it. The only control you have is on yourself. It’s on you to decide what you want, what you support, what you stand for. You can give away such important powers to someone else not can you let it go to waste. You need to have an authority in such matters. This is what makes you, you. Not your job or your education. You being true to yourself, being the one to understand the right from wrong. Finding yourself in this absolute grey area. Don’t throw it away. Use it responsibly

*especially if it’s me

Content.

When do you know that you’re content and happy?

Is it just the fulfilment of our desires? or maintaining peace with our inner self?

This question has always bewildered me and I can never seem to get it out of my sub-concious. There have been many theories which I (obviously) cooked up in my brain and carried out with absolute no research.*

As a young adult who has a bit too many hours at hand, I often re-visit my incomplete dreams and thoughts to pass time. People often mistaken my “staring out of the window for the whole day” as a lethargic characteristic while they don’t realise that I am glaring at them till they mind their own business.

One of the most prominent situations that enter my supressed part of the brain is that a person cannot actually ever be content. It is in our nature to never stop wanting things. Does not matter if the things are expensive or cheap or tiny. It is human nature. One cannot feel satisfied with what they have unless they decide to leave their materialistic lives and survive in the woods while letting the nature take its course. Neither can a person living a life of luxury nor a person living off the roads can ever be content with what they have.

What I’m trying too put forth is that one can never be content but can always be happy. You will always want something better, something that is closer to perfection and it’s completely alright to feel that way but that doesn’t mean that you hate on what you already have. Greed is a part of our trait. It is very prevalent in every other aspect of our lives and it’s not necessarily a bad trait unless you cross the thin line after which it would just make you insecure and terrible. So stay happy. Please. And don’t do drugs.

* for the last time, please don’t take me seriously.